did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
