we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
