fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
