Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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