You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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