Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
