he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
