there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
