I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
