hell yes lets make some ravioli
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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