Where is the hickey?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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