I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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