i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
