i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i've created a new STD.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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