Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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