I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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