No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
