Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
