belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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