is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
