He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
