i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
