If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
