Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
