After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
so let's talk penis.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
