didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
