i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
