she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
