This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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