Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
