I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my penis made a compromise with my morals
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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