No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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