ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
