Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
