haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
