Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
pop tarts are not kleenex
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
