dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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