so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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