? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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