508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
