a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
