I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
