i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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