But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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