do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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