Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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