ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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