I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
