can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
