Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
